Shit Happening To My Pregnant Ass This Week: Week 28

[Contents: medical, TMI]

Okay Week 28 plus two days.

OKAY BUT I'M SICK, OKAY?

The Man totally gave me some bullshitfuckerycold. This is the kind of cold where the only way I am sure it's not the goddamn murderingfuckflu is that I don't have a fever. My head has decided there's a worldwide snot shortage, and WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

No. No we are not body; knock that shit off.

Plus a sore throat, occasional sneezing, occasional coughing, plus super-dry fuckwinter weather... means mostly this week I have been whining and sleeping.

This is a problem because I need to pick up BOTH prescription meds I take this week - my thyroid meds, and the progesterone. I was SUCH AN ADULT and called in the refills last Saturday. And then... yeah.

When The Man got home from work tonight, he kindly went with me to Pharmacy 1 for my thyroid meds, because I took my last dose of them this morning WOOO. Today is the first day since Tuesday I've been up to even showering, so I am exhausted, BUT I have thyroid meds. Tomorrow we go to Pharmacy 2 to pick up the progesterone. I am excited about the progesterone because I found a coupon for it for $50 off, and since my co-pay is only $35 for it, I'm thinking FREE, FUCK YES.

By the way, if you are taking a name-brand medication? See if the manufacturer has coupons for it. Both of my prescriptions right now are name-brands, no substitutes available or allowed. Both have coupons. Sadly the thyroid med coupon is only for $10 off, so it still costs me $40 a month, but ten bucks is ten bucks, you know?

Also bought at Pharmacy 1 were some Pampers for 16 cents per diaper because that is CHEAP for those, awwww YEAH. That's my life. I have subscribed to a blog that gives daily updates on baby- and kid-related deals, and has weekly posts on the best deals for diapers and wipes, online and off, cloth and disposable. I signed up for goddamn Amazon Mom, which let's not even talk about the hate I have for that program name, but uh 20% off all of my subscribe and save orders? SOUNDS GREAT. Let's also not talk about the significant issues I have with their entire company... but on the other hand, when there are days you can't walk, there's a lot to be said for having shit like toilet paper just MAGICALLY SHOW UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP with only a one-time investment of spoons.

Meanwhile I have my next pre-natal appointment on Monday, and that starts the "appointments every two weeks" phase of the game. The Kid is going to be making an appearance within the next three months. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

The Kid has also grown to the point where the kicks aren't so much kicks as distinct thumps, and I'm now being kicked up by where my stomach is. Like seriously, an inch or two below my boobs. Kicks. When I'm sitting and my boobs are resting on my belly, sometimes The Kid KICKS MY BOOBS. AND MAKES THEM MOVE.

I definitely went through a phase over the past couple of weeks where I felt as if I could not shove enough dairy in to my face. I seem to be back to RASPBERRY-FLAVORED THINGS ARE THE BEST, MAYBE SOME ORANGES TOO. I really want to make orange-cranberry bread, because it sounds so fucking good to me right now, but since I have bullshitfuckerycold, that's a little too much. My big plans for tomorrow are doing the dishes. Exciting.

Also this week I bought a dresser for The Kid. It was delivered Wednesday morning, thankfully while The Man was still home so I didn't have to get out of bed and deal with it. Less than ten minutes after the doorbell rang, there was a big honking brand-new dresser exactly where I wanted it in my house. Professional delivery, how I love thee. I also cleaned my washing machine last week (yes! apparently you have to clean them once in a while! Let's not talk about how disgusting my fabric softener dispenser was!) so now I feel a-ok about washing some of the baby clothes and blankets I've been given and then OMG putting them AWAY in The Kid's DRESSER.

I have also noticed that WELP more new stretch marks have shown up. I keep seeing all of these pins on Pinterest and articles and shit about how to avoid stretch marks, how to make them less noticeable, blah blah blah, and the tone of all of them is that stretch marks are OMG SO TERRIBLE THE WORST.

Look. I had plenty of goddamn stretch marks all the fuck over my belly, hips, boobs, and butt long before I got pregnant. Now I have more. O NOES. New this week are some more little ones on my lower belly; previously there were only new ones on my upper belly, above my belly button, and on my boobs. I'm actually kind of excited about them because BELLY IS GROWING, THAT MEANS BABY IS GROWING, MWAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Speaking of, HERE IS MAH BELLY. Oh my fucking god, I look so fucking pregnant. (Not visible in photo: the giant dark circles under my eyes, the snot leaking out of my nose, the aching hips, the pants that no longer fit, the "and here I thought while I was pregnant I wouldn't need pads", the limb to the ribs The Kid treated me to. Visible in photo: hey, that shirt is getting a little short on me now, I should probably clean that mirror, the "I'm so fucking tired" look on my face).

Pregnancy (And After) Clothes: The PJ and PJ-ISH Edition

[Contents: gender essentialism, fat hate]

 

Yeah, I know everyone calls it "maternity clothing", but see here for why I won't.

First things first. You may not need a whole lot of special clothing for pregnancy and afterwards. And if you do need pregnancy clothing, everyone needs it at different times. I know folks who had to buy pregnancy jeans by week 8. I know folks who bought none. I personally needed to wear my looser jeans or unbutton mine starting around week 17. Everyone is different, and whatever you need or don't need, that is a-ok and you are fine.

That being said, if you DO need some... oh gods.

Shopping for pregnancy clothing while plus-sized is like shopping for everyday plus-sized, with the added bonus of being tired and hormonal and having even FEWER and EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE options. YAAAAAY WHO WOULDN'T LOOK FORWARD TO THAT.

Second things: there are some helpful posts about pregnancy clothes for bigger people.  Here are some that I've found (and a lot of the good stuff is in comments - I've scanned through all of these and while I wouldn't call them "safe spaces", they are well-moderated and don't have bullshit in them that I saw.)

•  In Search of Plus-Sized Maternity Clothes over at the Advice Smackdown. (Contents: fat hate, mental health, gender essentialism)
• Plus-Sized Maternity Resources FAQ, over at Plus-Sized-Pregnancy.org. This was last updated in 2006, so while some of the shops might not be around, there are also some excellent tips here. Written by a plus-sized person. (Contents: gender essentialism)
• How to Find Plus-Sized Maternity Wear, at babycenter.com. Written by a plus-sized person, has tips and links to shops. Updated in 2012. (Contents: gender essentialism)

ANYWAY. I discovered earlier this month that WHOOPS, NOPE, can't wear most of my not-pregnant jeans anymore. Even if they're unbuttoned, unzipped, and held up by a Bella Band. They are just too tight and uncomfortable, and the part under the zipper cuts in to the bottom of my belly and is NO GOOD.

So I've been wearing a lot of yoga pants when I don't need to leave the house.

I've also hit the point where I'm like OH SHIT I NEED LIKE STUFF TO WEAR IN THE HOSPITAL AND I'LL NEED PAJAMAS I CAN NURSE IN AND OH SHIT.

In the hopes that it's helpful for other folks who may be going through similar, I am going to share some of the things I've bought, as well as some other sources I've found. I usually wear a 2X right now, but I'm going to include sources for things that go bigger. This post will focus just on PJs, yoga pants, and hospital gowns. I'm planning on doing a few more, including OH SHIT I NEED BRAS.

I'm also going to share a couple of ways I try to make buying clothes less expensive. Because clothes are fucking expensive. Clothes for us fat folk are usually even more expensive, and often have to be ordered special. Which is bullshit.

I never buy anything online without first checking RetailMeNot, a site that compiles coupon codes and specials for pretty much any online store. Second, I try to shop through Ebates (note: that is a referral link, so if you sign up through it, I get a bonus). If you start shopping through Ebates and buy something online, you get a percentage of your purchase in cash back. It is legit, I have done it. Finally, for sites where I know I buy regularly, I find it's worth signing up for their emails, even if I just have them go to an email account I don't check often. Because then I can check it when I need something, see who has the sales, and often get additional discount codes.

Also? PLEASE DO SHARE things you've bought, stores you like, discounts, etc. in comments.

OKAY ON TO VARIOUS TYPES OF CLOTHINGS

Yoga Pants

This is a bit broader of a category, really. I refer to pj pants, yoga pants, etc. as "softpants", for, well, you know, they're SOFT.

Over 2013 Midwestern Holiday, I bought myself two pairs of these: Gloria Vanderbilt Sport "INES" Relaxed Fit Pants. OMG SO COMFORTABLE. Right now I'm wearing about a 22-24 in pants - as in, I have some pants in those sizes I can actually button up comfortably. A 2X in these fits magnificently. And, they're stretchy enough that even as I gain more weight, they should still fit. They're also a nice length - I'm 6' tall and they're not looking ridiculous on me. Carson's, the store I linked to, also tends to have a good selection of plus sizes (at the very least, up to a 3X), and always, ALWAYS has coupons, both online and in-store (Carson's, as well as it's same-store-different-name sisters Boston Store and Bergner's, are in Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana - around there.) I find their plus-size tends to be cut more for "pear" or "hourglass" shapes, but not exclusively.

I've also gotten some excellent PJ pants/yoga pants at, yeah. Lane Bryant. I honestly haven't bought anything from them in a few years though, because they seem to be in one of their downswings again. You know, where the quality noticeably declines again and prices go up and everything is just UGH. BUT you may have some luck there.

Nightgowns

I'm not a big pajama set fan, mostly because they are usually button-down tops and I have a legit, should-come-with-a-warning Rack of Doom, so they don't work very well. But, I'm planning on breastfeeding, so I need to wear something at night where I can just whip out a boob.

I bought two nightgowns similar to this at Kohl's. They've got a long enough line of buttons down the front that I can, in fact, get a boob out. They're also cut very generously, I found - again, a 2X worked for me and was plenty loose. They're also not too heavyweight of a knit. Kohl's also regularly carries up to a 3X, and ALWAYS has coupons, online and in store. They also have locations nationwide. I find Kohl's plus-size tends to be cut more for "apple" shapes - pretty much all of it.

There are some additional candidates on One Stop Plus. OSP is online-only, but carries up to a size 44W, and also ALWAYS has coupons. I checked on some of their nightgowns - everything I looked at went up to at least a 5X, if not a 6X.

Then there are specialty "nursing gowns" and such. Here are some I've found. I haven't personally tried any of these - have you?

• Aimee Nursing Gowns. They look? Super nice. They also? Are not cheap. And finally? Only go up to about an 18-20/XXL.
• Birth And Baby Nursing Gowns and Pajamas. Some styles go up to a 3X. They also ship globally. Also carries nursing bras, other pregnancy clothes, and breastfeeding supplies.
• Mother's Boutique. Some styles up to 3X. Ships worldwide. Also carries other nursing clothes, pregnancy clothes. etc.
• Just Plus Fashion Outlet. Nursing gowns and PJs up to a 5X. Also carries plus-sized clothes and pregnancy clothes, also up to a 5X. Free US shipping; also ships internationally. 

Hospital Gowns

I basically hate hospital gowns, because most places I've been in that use them don't have them big enough for me. (In fact, the hospital my old doctor was at was one of these places.... yet another reason I'm glad I'm with new practices). One of the things I plan on asking about on the hospital tour I'll be getting in March is about the size of gowns they regularly have, and if "big enough for me" isn't on the list, seeing what I can do to make sure some get ordered. Which, it's shitty that that's something I have to think about doing, because really, they should have stuff in stock for everyone. Fat people need hospital care too.

You can, however, bring your own. This has pluses and minuses - plus, you know that shit fits you. It also has a color and pattern you like, because let's be real, hospital gowns are not known for being super fuck cute. Minus, you have to wash that yourself. And every single thing I've read about the post-partum hospital stay either implies or straight up says NO SERIOUSLY, BODILY FLUIDS WILL GET ON EVERYTHING YOU OWN. So they might not be useable afterwards. However, it's an option.

Here are some places I have found that sell plus-size or custom hospital gowns. I can't vouch for any of them, because I haven't ordered personally.

• Gorgeous Hospital Gowns. Based in Australia, ships worldwide. They list four sizes, up to about an 18-20, but also say they "haven't found anyone too large yet", so ymmv.
• AmpleStuff Hospital Gowns. Goes up to a 10X. Also has specialty gowns, such as those with pockets for telemetry equipment. Owner is a member of ASDAH (Association for Size Diversity and Health). Ships worldwide. Carries a lot of other products.
• Personal Touch Health Care Apparel. Goes up to a 10X. Definitely calls them "oversized" and "bariatric" gowns, so be warned. Ships to US, Canada, maybe the UK.

If you're crafty, you can make your own. Here is a pattern I've found. I recommend 100% cotton - it's easier to wash, and will probably be the most comfortable. You can also get it super-cheaply. Fabric.com often has 100% cotton prints on clearance for as low as $2-3/yd.

Again, did you find a good source of pregnancy clothes for us fat folk? PLEASE DO SHARE.

Shit Happening To My Pregnant Ass This Week: Week 27

[Contents: medical, mention of pregnancy loss]

AHHHHHHH THIRD TRIMESTER HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

I spent a lot of this pregnancy not really expecting to get here, you know? Through the first trimester, I was on edge the ENTIRE TIME, because I was spotting pretty consistently, and because I had an early miscarriage in 2012. Then I got through twelve weeks and heard the heartbeat on the Doppler the first time, and it was AMAZING. I could not believe how tight I was wound. I mean, I knew I'd been wound seriously fucking tight, but all of a sudden I was so much more sanguine.

Then we found out my cervix was short and I was at higher risk of delivering early. Which didn't stress me as much as the first trimester, but still stressed me. Most days I could be pretty okay... some days, definitely not. Some days I was convinced I would lose the baby, and lose it before 24 weeks, and oh god, it was going to be terrible.

And then I didn't.

And now it's the third trimester.

And now even if I do deliver early - which I'm not even considered to be at high risk of anymore - every single day, the probable outcomes for The Kid look better and better. And I'm not having contractions, I have no signs of pre-term labor.. everything looks like yup, we're going full-term right now. Kid's growth is on track (and as of last update, hir legs were actually measuring ahead... SHOCK TIME, as both The Man and I are six feet tall), I'm feeling pretty good... wow.

So naturally I have to work not to obsess over kick counts.

My OB doesn't even want me doing them until week 28, and that's the typical recommendation. And there's not a ton of good evidence that they even prevent bad outcomes. And yet!

The Kid is generally pretty active. Generally within an hour after my eating something, there's a flurry of activity. Then late at night when I'm laying in bed. Usually right after I get up in the morning and pee (the first of like EIGHT THOUSAND TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM PER DAY GODS). It's pretty predictable. Some days, though, they're quieter. The day after, they're somewhat more active, and I get all sorts of fun round ligament pain, so my theory is GROWTH SPURT. Then after that we're back to HI WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE KICKED LIKE ALL DAY I HOPE SO BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE DOING.

Today is one of those days.

And even on the less active days, without fail, WITHOUT FAIL, I get to the point where I start worrying "oh shit, I haven't felt The Kid for a while", I get kicked. Unmistakably. Which is nice and reassuring and makes me laugh, because of course. So really, all signs are that The Kid is perfectly fine. And rolling over and changing positions and Kid how did you kick my hip what are you even DOING in there.

I've also managed to significantly improve the problems with my pelvis. I wrote a while ago that it was already spreading, and I came back from 2013 Midwestern Holiday and was in pretty solid, lurching pain for two weeks from PGP, which probably at this point at this point could be called symphisis pubic dysfunction, seeing as how that particular joint has cracked multiple times. Convenient part though is that a lot of the exercises recommended for that are the exercises recommended for my back. So I've been doing some pelvic tilts, pelvic side shifts to straighten out my spine (because I've noticed that's crooked again), some gentle leg lifts and rocks, things like that. And holy shit, have I mentioned I'm a huge believer in PT? Because now I'm not in pain anymore.

I still have to be careful - I can tell if I go up and down my stairs too many times in a day, for example, and I've more or less given up on doing a full grocery shop, because it's just too much. So I got groceries delivered last week. I can still stop and pick up a few things if we need them though, and that helps. But oh man, now it doesn't hurt to get out of bed any more. And my sciatica was flaring a bit, and that's eased too.

Fucking physical therapy, yo. Fucking MIRACULOUS.

I've also realized that oh shit, I need to eat like ALL THE TIME, and probably if I'm feeling just kind of bleah, it's because I need food. I can also tell if I skip my prenatal vitamins for a day, even if I replace them with a regular multivitamin. I don't know what's in them that makes the difference, but if I don't take them, I get way more emotional, and way more in the mood to just curl up in bed and never, ever leave. I had a day last week, after I'd skipped the vitamins for two days, where basically I was just a complete hormonal, weepy mess. And this weekend after skipping them for one day, I could feel myself going back there. So NO SKIPPING FOR ME too bad they still taste terrible.

OH MY FUCK GOD I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY SOME TIME IN THE NEXT THREE MONTHS HOLY FUCKBALL SHIT

What Is No Longer Complicating My Pregnancy

[Contents: TMI, medical, including descriptions of surgery and needles]

So as I mentioned on Twitter and here on Wednesday, I wound up having a cervical cerclage put in, kind of on a surprise basis, just before Christmas. This post is about that day and what happened. It's going to be super long.

Full Genetic Sequencing for Fetuses and Motherfucking Ethics

[Contents: ableism, eliminationist rhetoric, fat hate]

I briefly mentioned this article on Twitter yesterday: What Fetal Genome Screening Could Mean For Babies And Parents. That's a donotlink link, by the way. The article was published in Scientific American.

I'm not even sure I can adequately express how deeply I'm disturbed and frankly disgusted by the attitudes expressed by the scientists in the article. The first few commenters are even worse.

Basically, some bioethicists at Brigham & Women's Hospital in Boston, MA have published in The New England Journal of Medicine that YUP, parents should be able to get this with appropriate genetic counseling services.

That in and of itself isn't necessarily so bad, although "genetic counseling" leaves open a big door and there's lots of variation as to what it includes and entails. Then you get in to their reasons for arguing this. The big one cited is "Parents may emphasize diet and exercise more for a child at heightened risk of diabetes, for instance."

BECAUSE YES, SINGLING OUT A KID FOR DIFFERENT TREATMENT FROM DAY ONE FOR A DISEASE THEY DON'T HAVE BUT MIGHT GET IS SUCH A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, FOLKS.

I just... look. If you are different as a kid already, that's hard enough. Kids who have illnesses that require treatment, like special diet plans, medication, or other treatments visible in public, are incredibly stigmatized on a routine basis. And while the article makes the point that genetics do not guarantee a disease, this argument for fetal full genome sequencing completely ignores that. It's arguing you should treat your kid differently on the basis that they MIGHT get a disease (a disease we associate with OMG OBESITY, by the way - I don't think THAT'S a mistake), marking them from early childhood on as someone who's less than, someone to be pitied, mocked, someone who's impure.

The rest of the article is from some other scientist all dismissive of "perfect baby quest" concerns, and all "WELL IF PARENTS WANT IT THEY SHOULD GET IT". Which is a shitty, shitty argument. "Well I want it" is no basis for a solid ethical decision. And her reasons for dismissing ethical dilemmas about the potential for parents terminating a pregnancy because they found out they fetus' eyes would be brown instead of blue, for instance, is "well not everyone would get it". Which doesn't eliminate the ethical problems at all! And there's a brief mention of "well fetuses can't consent", but it doesn't even remotely touch on what the ethics are of having your genetics on record before you're even born, much less consent. Can you imagine insurance companies with that information, for starters?

Then you get to the comments, and the first few are so deeply ableist and eliminationist, jesus fucking fuck. They straight up say there are no ethical problems with this, and raising a child with an illness or disability is not loving. "That's the unethical thing", one person says. You'd be a bad parent to not get it is strongly implied, because giving birth to a kid with a disease is abusive.

Yes folks, someone argues that it's unethical for people with disabilities to even be born.

I... holy shit. This person thinks I shouldn't have been born.  This person thinks that my kid shouldn't be born, because I opted for absolutely zero genetic testing or screening. This person thinks that a whole fucking bunch of people I know shouldn't have been born, because they weren't born "perfect".

Holy. Fuckball. Shit.

So yeah, you're damn right I disagree.

I absolutely think there is an ethical debate to be had here.

In some respects, this is a debate many pregnant people and their partners have. The Man and I had a discussion about it, although in our case the discussion was short. While full genetic sequencing was not offered to us, we were offered other testing, including a nuchal translucency scan, a quad scan, chorionic villi sampling, and more. We turned them all down. Part of that, honestly, is because The Kid is at low risk of developing anything those are testing for. The bigger part of it is that even if The Kid did have something that was being tested for, such as trisomy 21 (better known as Down syndrome), we wouldn't do anything about it. We wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. We'd have The Kid, and we'd love them, and raise them the best we could. The Plan would not change.

We did get the "standard" anatomy scan between 18-24 weeks. If that had discovered that The Kid had a condition wherein there was no way they would survive to term or outside my uterus, at that point we would have terminated. If that had discovered Trisomy 18 (also known as Edwards syndrome), where the majority of fetuses die before birth, and approximately 8% of those who are born survive past the first year, that would have prompted more conversation, although we likely would choose to continue the pregnancy anyway, with monitoring.

Those are our decisions. (And shoutout to my midwife and OB who are 100% supportive of them.) And yet this commenter thinks those are unethical. Wow.

But if you think that if a fetus has a disease, or a potential for a disease down the road - because let's be real, 99% of what fetal genome sequencing would find would be the potential for a disease - then that fetus shouldn't be born, where do you draw the line? Obesity is considered a disease - should fetuses with higher risk of obesity not be born? Ehlers-Danlos? What about my Hashimoto's? What about schizophrenia? Cancer? Does it matter what kind of cancer? Diabetes? Does it make a difference if it's Type 1 or Type 2?

Because here's the thing - we all get sick. Each and every one of us. Every single one of us carries within us the potential for a whole host of things, from heart disease to cancer to fuck all knows what else. And genetics are not a guarantee of disease. We don't even know which genes are tied to which conditions, in most cases, much less how the complex interplay between genetics and environment determines who gets what and when. We just cannot predict, outside of a few things diagnosable in utero, what any fetus will get in their life after they're born.

Moreover, we rank diseases and disabilities. I've already done it a few times in just this piece. I think most if not all of us have that sort of internal ranking. "Well Hashimoto's is bad and an autoimmune disease, but it's not thyroid cancer" is another one I have. I also think that our wider society's rankings of disease and disability go beyond their treatability, the pain and suffering they cause, their risk of death, etc. and gets way in to aesthetics. See also, obesity is considered a disease. As I mentioned earlier, I don't think it's a mistake that "diabetes" was the example given by the bioethicist arguing for fetal genomic sequencing. We perceive Type 2 diabetes as preventable, as well as caused by obesity - which we also consider preventable. It's one of the diseases where society really likes to blame the person for getting it.

And to use that potential of disease or disability as a screener to determine which fetuses should be born or not is so abhorrent. Even if they do have the potential for something that's really scary, that's not a guarantee. Conflating giving birth to a fetus with the genetic potential for something you don't like with abusing that child, or with a death sentence, is mendacious as fucking hell, not to mention unethical.

Finally, the idea of health at every cost comes out here. As if we owe it to ourselves, to society, to our children, to be absolutely healthy. To do everything we can to be healthy. And let's be real, it's a real narrow definition of healthy that's always used here, and it absolutely includes "not fat". It also doesn't include "uses a wheelchair", "has a mental illness", or "has a chronic disease that limits their activity". We're all supposed to be thin, preferably white, happy, active, totally able-bodied people. Anyone outside those parameters need not apply.

Fuck that.

Fuck that narrow definition of health, and fuck anyone who thinks I owe fitting in to that definition to them or to "society". And fuck anyone who thinks that as a presumptive parent, I owe it to anyone for my children to fit that narrow, ableist, racist, hateful mold. Fuck the entire idea that if you and your body and mind are less than "perfectly healthy", that you shouldn't be here. Fuck that fuck that fuck that.

Things Happening To My Pregnant Ass This Week: Week 26

[Contents: medical, TMI]

WEEK TWENTY-SIX.

TWENTY.  SIX.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Basically, this week? Shit has gotten REAL.

Hitting the halfway point at 20 weeks was pretty awesome, and hitting 24 weeks (and therefore the edge of fetal viability in many cases) was also pretty awesome, seeing as how I'm considered at higher risk of delivering pre-term. But all of a sudden this past week, now that I'm past the "100 days left"  mark, AAAAHHHHH HOLY SHIT HAVING A KID IN LIKE THREE MONTHS OH MY FUCK GOD.

I've also been nesting hardcore. Like... yes, I am awake at 6:30 am for no good goddamn reason, this is a COMPLETELY reasonable time to look at dressers for the kid on Craigslist. I HAVE TO FIND ONE RIGHT NOW, OKAY? I EVEN HAVE A PLAN OF HOW IT'S GOING TO FIT IN WHAT IS NOW THE SPARE ROOM AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE ANY OF MY ANTIQUE SEWING MACHINES OUT IT'S GREAT TRUST ME.

I did find a dresser yesterday. The Man even likes it. I just have to make sure it will fit through the doors in my old-ass house. I already measured the spare room. It fits.

(I may or may not have been doing measuring at some obnoxious hour of the night at some point this week.)

I realize that this is also partly prompted by the fact that I came back from 2013's Midwestern Holiday with my family with ZOMG SO MUCH BABY STUFF. My mom? Is kind of excited. And keeps buying things. Like clothes. And blankets. And a snow suit. And and and.

She also hauled out the bassinet from their crawlspace. Said bassinet was used for me and my two siblings, so I think it actually qualifies as antique now? My mom and dad all tested it out to make sure it was stable and in good shape and it got the green light, so I hauled that home too. No of course I didn't get a little weepy about it why would you even ask such a question? (I totally got weepy over it. More than once.)

But yeah, so now there's multiple boxes and bags of baby stuff just getting piled in what is currently the spare room. Boxes of diapers. Bags of clothes. An entire box just of blankets. A giant bassinet chilling out. An entire tub of stuffed animals ALREADY. So I'm really feeling the need to have a place to put these things AWAY.

Meanwhile, in the medical arena, if you follow me on Twitter, you know that I had a SURPRISE cerclage put in just before leaving for 2013 Midwestern Holiday. SO FUN. Basically, a cerclage is where they literally sew your cervix shut so it stays that way. Turns out my cervix had shortened pretty significantly between one ultrasound and another, and while a cerclage is not at all what I'd planned for or wanted, I knew, unequivocally, that it was the correct choice. So my doctor and the hospital did some scrambling on my behalf to get me in to surgery that night, so I could leave for the holidays. I do have a post coming up on what the experience and recovery was like, but the short version is it's fine, I'm fine, everything is okay.

Everything really is okay though - I had a follow-up with my maternal-fetal medicine specialist when I returned from 2013 Midwestern Holiday, and my cervix was actually LONGER than it had ever been, which is amazing, wonderful news, and means that I no longer have to see a specialist. I just get to go to my regular OB/midwife team. No more ultrasounds every ten days, no more extra appointments. As much as I love my specialist, she and I were both thrilled that I don't have to see here any more right now. My midwife was also thrilled - she gave me a big ol' hug at my appointment last week. In her words, "MFM NEVER lets anyone go! I am so happy for you!" So right now, I am considered to be having a normal, low-risk pregnancy. Which is amazing.

The Kid is measuring right on for gestational age, except for hir legs, which are measuring long. Unsurprising; The Man and I are both 6' tall ourselves. I have a brother who is like 6'6", and a cousin who is like 6'8", and a few uncles up there too, and my mom is 5'11", so, you know, tall folks, we gots 'em. I also gained seven whole pounds over the holidays YAAAAAY. I am pretty sure this was because my mom was feeding me. A lot. And also refusing to let me do p much anything resembling work, no matter how small.

This week The Kid has also managed to kick me in a few places that prompt me to go HOW DID YOU REACH THERE WHAT ARE YOU DOING OMG. We've definitely reached the "rabid weasel in a canvas sack" stage of fetal kicking. Around Christmas I was pretty sure my belly was twitching, but not entirely. There is no mistaking it now. The other day I was sitting on the couch without a bra on, so my boobs were definitely resting on top of my belly, and The Kid KICKED MY BOOB. Awesome, yet so, so freaky.

The Kid is also highly contrariwise, and enjoys kicking ultrasound and Doppler wands, but not hir father's hands when said hands are on my belly. It's like freaking magic. The Kid can be kicking up a freaking storm, The Man puts his hand on my belly, EVERYTHING STOPS. Man takes his hand away, KICK-KICK-KICK-KICK-SOMERSAULT-PUNCH. What the hell, Kid.

I also definitely, definitely have a prominent belly now. Even over Christmas, my mom and a couple other relatives were like oh yeah, you look pregnant, holy crap. But it's REALLY noticeable now. And I can't wear most of my jeans anymore, even unbuttoned with a Bella Band. They're just too tight for my belly. I am rocking yoga pants so hard right now, y'all. And kind of walking funny. My pelvis continues to spread (and crack, disconcertingly), so usually when I get up from bed it takes me about a dozen steps walking crooked and stooped before everything falls back in to place and I can more or less stand up straight. I'm not in too much pain, unless I overdo the physical activity in a day, but it is just kind of awkward and uncomfortable.

OMFG 26 WEEKS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH