I was talking on the Twitter-machine a few weeks ago with some friends about Wide World of Mommy Blogs, and the pressure there is to ONLY share the GOOD parts of parenting, and how you love EVERY MINUTE and are SO FULFILLED and blah blah blah. Look, I love being a parent to The Kid, and I adore The Kid, but parenting is filled with bullshit. So to counteract the firehouse of BUT DON'T YOU LOVE BEING A PARENT (especially MOM) shit we all get exposed to, and to give a giant FUCK YOU to that entire portion of the world, here are ten things I fucking hate about being a parent. Please feel free to share some more in the comments; this is a shame-free zone.
- I have to get up early every damn morning, except some Sunday mornings, when The Man gets up early. And even then, I wake up the second The Kid does.
- Thanks to constant societal pressure to be the BEST MOM and what my baby SHOULD BE DOING, if I can't get hir to nap, it's really easy to feel like a complete failure. I'm not, because I know that I cannot force my child to sleep, but it's still reallllly easy to feel like it. Conversely, if I do get The Kid asleep easily and on time, I feel like a fucking MOM NINJA. Neither is true.
- Somewhere, someone is completely judging me and saying I'm doing shit wrong. It's one thing if you're abusing your kid, or doing something demonstrably dangerous. But I'm not, and people still think I'm doing shit wrong.
- I hate the smell of spit-up. Especially when it's all over me. I hate spit-up all over me.
- Doing anything, including peeing, takes planning.
- Pretty sure I've seriously and permanently fucked up my right wrist, somewhere in the nursing/holding iPod/fastening diapers blur.
- My social schedule is the most ridiculous it has ever, EVER been. I love my family and friends, but just the idea that I could have some social event going on every single day of the week, for the foreseeable future, is a kind of hell for me.
- Sometimes I would just like to be in a room with NO OTHER PEOPLE, THANK YOU.
- It's really hard to make sure I eat something.
- Each and every day, I am on duty, 24 hours. Yes, The Kid is only awake for like 12 of them, but 3 am crying? WELP I'm up. Yes, The Man helps, yes, I do get out of the house, etc. and so on, but when the shit really hits the fan? I am the caregiver of last resort. I don't get breaks so much.
Even though I love the snuggles and affection, at the end of the day sometimes I'm so sick of being touched by other people that I want to hide and just have some personal space again.
ReplyDelete11. To expand on the parent of last resort: in my house my child looks to me for everything, which means I do most of everything, even when we set out to be more equal parents. Mom, can I have more juice? Mom, can you take me potty. Mom, can you hold my cup? (Honey, I'm driving, daddy is sitting right next to you, he can hold your cup) NOOOOOOOO MOM HAS TO HOLD MY CUP, etc. Yes it means he loves me and we've bonded but it also means it makes him sad if I go to the bathroom by myself and don't take him with me.
ReplyDelete12. The constant clinging, never being able to just sit by myself because see above
13. I have a bad back and carrying a toddler has destroyed it and also my one hip sticks out at a funny angle now.
14 I hate bedtime. Because Reasons. Lots of Reasons.
15 Meal time. The fight over what to eat and no really you shouldn't just eat cheezits for breakfast, lunch and dinner, omg do I have to have to fight every day?
16. Preschool drop off time. It's end of the world that kiddo will not see me for 8 hours (again see above)
Oh I'm sure there's a lot more too
Oh my gods, my back is so fucked up. SO FUCKED UP. Which is why I want to scream every time someone is like OH JUST WEAR THE BABY IT IS MAGICAL. You know what? Yes, it is. I enjoy wearing my baby. EXCEPT WHEN IT IS EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL TO DO SO, WHICH IT IS REGULARLY.
ReplyDeleteAlso what I hate about parenting: the utter guilt even a six-month-old can make you feel for doing something that you know is for the better for everyone concerned, but which upsets everyone and is difficult to do, like sleeping not on Mom for naps.
OH ALSO: The feeling that every single decision I could possibly make is wrong.
ReplyDelete