Cloth Diapers, Six Months In

One of the other things I found immensely helpful when researching cloth diapers was how things worked as the babies grew. So here's my contribution.

Here is a link to the list of things we use.

We have added a bit to the stash. I bought more cloth wipes (like, 45 more cloth wipes), and have considered buying more but haven't yet. Sometimes we really do go through a dozen or more wipes in a diaper change. The "fold them up and dunk them as necessary" system still works a treat though.

I've also bought some more covers. I bought a half a dozen Thirsties Duo Wraps in size 2, a couple more of those in size 1, and some more Flip covers. Cotton Babies, the maker of Flip, regularly releases limited edition patterned diaper covers. Bet your ass I got Spence, the pirate cover. I also have Stellar, their new midnight blue solid colored cover, on pre-order. I know that the "limited edition" is marketing, and they're not any better than the regular covers, but I am susceptible to the marketing of cuteness, sooooo.

I've also sent in a few covers to be converted to snaps. In my last post, I mentioned a hook and loop Blueberry cover and a hook and loop cover from Nicki's Diapers, wherein I did not like the laundry tabs. Well, now I really don't fucking like them, because they stopped working about two months ago. Every time I washed those covers, the tabs would come open, and attach themselves to the flats in the wash. Leading to some tears in a couple of the Gerber flats. AWESOME. One of the Flips in hook and loop had this problem too (actually, from the time we bought it, but it was on clearance so whatever - and I do want to note, none of my other Flip hook and loop covers have ever had this problem). So I found a person on Etsy who will remove the hook and loop and apply snaps for a reasonable price. It's something technically I can do myself, but gods I hate setting snaps so I am happy to pay someone else to deal with that.

The Thirsties and Flips are still definitely our favorite covers, and we still strongly prefer hook and loop for the Thirsties. In fact, all of the new Thirsties covers I bought were hook and loop. We are using some of the size 2 Thirsties covers. They are definitely big on The Kid, but not so big they're unusable. They're big kind of like how a bunch of covers were big on hir as a newborn. When we close the size 2s, the tabs are definitely overlapping. Right now we're stuffing them with a prefold, and I think we'll continue doing that as The Kid grows. The nice thing is, we are still using the size small prefolds from Diaper Junction as diapers, since we just fold them and lay them in a cover. If I were fastening the prefold around hir, well, that stopped working about two months ago or so. The size mediums work just fine for that.

Oh, yeah - sometimes we do just use a Snappi fastener and fasten a prefold around The Kid's bum and don't use a cover. Usually this happens when zie has a diaper rash, and I want to give hir some "air time". I Snappi a prefold on hir, then lay hir in hir crib, because we always have a waterproof pad under hir sheets. Not that we've needed it - The Kid has pooped when this has been going on, and the prefolds have contained everything. So yes, I recommend the Diaper Junction prefolds, and I'll likely be getting more. I do not recommend the Econobums prefolds. They're perfectly fine cotton, and nice and soft, but they are the wrong size no matter how I fold them. If I fold them along the long seams, they're too long and skinny, and I have to fold down the front to get them to fit on The Kid. If I fold them along the short seams, they're too short and wide. Right now we use them as soaker pads on the changing pad, or as a mat under the bowl of wipe water, so the top of The Kid's dresser doesn't get ruined.

Oh, yeah, some of our flats and prefolds do have stains on them now, WELP. Guess what? They still smell super-clean and work just as well. If I wanted, I could move the drying rack in the attic to a window and sun them, but I don't care that much.

We were having a slight smell problem with the polyester/PUL covers we use. The cotton was fine after every wash, but after a month or so, the covers retained just the faintest bit of poop odor. I was bleaching them once a month, which worked fine, although they also hung on to the bleach smell for a while. Then I did a little more research and found out that perhaps a bit more detergent in the wash would do the trick, and it seems to have done so nicely. Right now we use the full recommended amount for a "medium" load in All Free & Clear, and the smell is gone. GOOD TIMES. For information about how much detergent might work for you, here is a handy chart of diaper wash load size and detergents. We usually wash 12-18 diapers in a load of laundry, but we've gone up to 21 diapers with attendant wipes and wet bag.

We are no longer using any of the Bumkins covers. The elastic started failing on another, then they all started leaking. That or they were wicking really badly, but long story short, if they were on for more than like, half an hour, The Velociraptor's clothes would be wet. So those are gone. We do still have a Bumkins wet bag that I use when on the go, and that seems to work fine.

Oh yes - we have traveled and I have gone on errands using just cloth diapers. They're bulkier in the diaper bag, but it's totally doable. I don't take cloth wipes with when traveling because I haven't figured out a good way to do so. I just use regular disposable wipes. I either throw them directly in the trash, or put them in the outside "dry" pocket of the wet bag, and put the diapers in the main "wet" pocket. Then I empty the wipes in to my trash at home and throw the diapers and wet bag in the wash. We actually did a weekend trip out of state using nothing but cloth diapers, and it wasn't horrible. I feel a little weird about my life right now, but honestly? Yeah, it worked and it's doable. It's also totally fine to be like "fuck all of that, give me a box of Pampers", because we do that on the regular too. Like when we go to my mom's house, because fuck if I'm going to figure out how to wash diapers in her HE washing machine.

I do still wash and dry a load of diapers per day. It takes a while in the wash, but it doesn't take much of my time, and honestly, it works for us. I'm the kind of person who feels the need to accomplish something each day, so even if all I do is keep myself and The Kid alive and wash a load of diapers, HEY IT'S A WINNING DAY alright. I'm unsure how much our gas bill has gone up, for all of the hot water. And we do use way more detergent than we used to. We'd be doing more laundry anyway, but seven extra loads a week is not free, you know? Plus diaper laundry is like fucking magic. I throw in a bunch of things with pee and poop on them and a couple hours later, MAGICALLY CLEAN it's amazing.

Breastfeeding, Now That I've Done It

[Contents: TMI; parent-shaming; disordered eating]

I feel a little strange writing this up, since I'm no longer breastfeeding, but part of this blog is to share my experiences, especially as a fat lady with some chronic health issues, so that people who are similar boats have some reference material and don't feel as isolated and alone.

So. Breastfeeding.

Honestly going in to it, I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about breastfeeding. I was anticipating it was going to be super-weird. And, except for about thirty seconds when I thwapped out one of my boobs and started nursing in front of my father, it wasn't weird. It was just, "oh, I'm feeding my baby, okay."

I will also say that now that I've stopped, I don't miss nursing. And you know, nursing was pretty easy for me. I had to get a little creative with positioning sometimes - which I'll go in to more detail about later - but I never had sore or cracked nipples, I never had mastitis, a blocked duct, or thrush, The Kid never had latch problems, I never had painful engorgement, nothing. It worked pretty damn well all around.

The only issues were my supply - it's unclear whether I would have had enough to nurse exclusively. I go back and forth on that. Since I have thyroid issues, it is more likely that I did have some under-supply issues. Those issues, if they existed, were probably not helped by the fact that I really, really struggle to eat enough. It's easy to blame having a baby for the not eating, but that's a lie. I've struggled for years with making sure to feed myself adequately. I will say that having a baby exacerbated that. I could have really used someone who just constantly brought me food I could eat one-handed, especially in the first month or so where basically if the baby was awake, zie was nursing. And without eating enough, it's difficult to make enough breast milk.

But yeah, I don't miss it. I do miss being able to read or internets while nursing - I almost always had one hand free, and I have an iPod Touch with wifi, which is perfect for one-handed use. I do miss the early morning, 5 am wake-ups, and taking the baby in to bed with me and nursing while dozing. I miss nursing the baby to sleep. I miss nursing the baby to sleep on the couch and then shifting hir up to my shoulder so that we could both take a three-hour nap on the couch. I miss the baby unlatching hirself and giving me a milk-drunk, half-asleep grin with milk dribbling out of hir mouth.

I don't miss the last few months of nursing, whereupon The Kid was constantly clawing me and pinching my breasts, so that nursing turned in to a constant battle to prevent my personal pain. I don't miss The Kid's distracted nursing as they got older. I don't miss being stuck in a stationary position for however long nursing lasted. I don't miss the fact that I never found a nursing bra that fit, so nursing anywhere but at home was a royal pain in the ass. I don't miss the pain in my wrists from having to support whichever breast I was nursing from for however long nursing lasted, and it was regularly over an hour. I don't miss the discomfort from being stuck in whatever position I was in while nursing. I don't miss my tailbone constantly aching from sitting and nursing all the time.

One of the big things they tell you about breastfeeding is that it's SO CONVENIENT and IT'S FREE. Well, no. It's not free. It's certainly less expensive than formula feeding, but it's not free. It's a hell of a lot more time - and my time is not of zero value - and it's an increased cost in food and water for whoever is nursing. For lo, do you need to drink the hell of a lot of water when nursing.

And as for convenience, I'd say that breastfeeding and formula feeding are both convenient, just in different ways.

Ways breastfeeding is convenient:

• You really do never leave the house without the baby's food.
• You always have more food - you never run out.
• You can snooze while doing it.
• You don't have to do a load of dishes before you can feed the baby.
• You often have a free hand, so you can catch up on your reading or Twitter feed.
• No food goes to waste.

Ways formula feeding is convenient:

• You don't have to half-undress in order to feed the baby.
• It doesn't take an hour or more per feeding session.
• You don't have to try to eat or drink anything extra.
• Someone else can feed the baby while you eat some damn dinner finally.
• I can actually put the baby in the carrier and feed hir while we're moving.

They're also both inconvenient in some ways.

Ways breastfeeding is inconvenient:

• It's way harder, for me anyway, to find a comfortable position. The combination of large breasts (that I half-lovingly refer to as "cantaloupes in socks"... really soft cantaloupes) mean that unless I'm at home, where I can put my feet up and have a pillow in my lap, breastfeeding involves hunching over and lots of stress on my arms. Some people can nurse while their baby is in a carrier and they're moving! I am not one of them.
• It takes a long, long time to completely feed the baby, especially at first. Then once it shortens up, GROWTH SPURT, and we're back to constant nursing.
• Nursing strikes. You haven't lived until your baby has screamed at you every time you offer hir your breast.
• You're the only one who can feed your baby, unless you choose to pump, which is a whole other level of pain-in-the-ass-ness. (I did not pump.) Even if you do pump, any regular feeding time you aren't nursing, you have to pump, so you're still getting up in the middle of the night usually.
• You constantly need food, and especially water.
• The baby will always want to nurse when it's dinner time.
• You have to watch what you eat and drink. For example, if you drink something caffeinated, caffeine will be in your breast milk, and you might have a baby who is wired. Some babies with allergies and food intolerances are also sensitive to what their nursing parent eats - e.g., dairy.
• I didn't have them, but cracked nipples, clogged ducts, and thrush are real, painful things.
• Most doctors in the US will recommend that breastfed babies receive a Vitamin D supplement. So you have to buy that and remember to give it to the baby.
• Clapperclawing. Your baby will do it.

Ways formula feeding is inconvenient:

• Formula is expensive. And you will always have to toss some out, because once you mix up a bottle, the clock starts ticking.
• Bottles are expensive. The bottles that work best for us? Are $19.99 for three. We use at least six bottles a day right now. So a dozen bottles (so you've always got at least one clean... honestly, we have 17 now and I'm finally comfortable) is $80. Sure, there's coupons and sales, but jeebus. Let's not even talk about replacement nipples.
• You don't have a hand free.
• You can leave the house without the baby's food (and I've done it WHOOPS).
• You can't snooze while doing it - you have to stay awake.
• You have to make sure you buy enough formula you don't run out. The grocery store sells it, but it's often the most expensive option. So you have to either order it online, or make a special trip to Babies R Us or Target or wherever. It's also heavy as fuck.
• Unless you're using ready-to-feed (the most expensive form of formula out there), you have to make sure you have enough safe water to mix up the formula. I think about this, because it's hurricane season, and it's about to be winter storm season. We've never had a problem with our water here, but if we did, I need to make sure the baby doesn't starve.

I'm sure there are more things to add to all four of these lists (please feel free to share in comments!). But basically, it's a trade-off. As for other things that get used to shame people in to breastfeeding - and yeah, a lot of times it is trying to shame people in to breastfeeding - I have bonded with my baby just fine, thank you; my baby is healthy as fuck and has consistently been months ahead on hir milestones; my baby is at the 50% percentile for weight-for-age and even if they weren't, I don't consider obesity a health problem to prevent; breast cancer doesn't run in my family so I'm at low risk anyways; did I miss any?

As for positions, let me tell you, the ones you get the diagrams for, aren't made with fat ladies with large breasts in mind. Nor are nursing pillows. I used either a standard US bed pillow, or a Snoogle mini. I really loved nursing in the hospital, because I could angle the bed how I wanted it, then prop the baby up on a pillow next to me and use a modified football hold. The hospital is also the only place I successfully nursed in the side-lying position, because I could wedge a pillow between the baby and the bed rail. Otherwise, I would sit down, with my feet out in front of me, put a pillow on my lap, and prop the baby on the pillow. I'd support whatever breast I was nursing from with the hand on the same side, and latch the baby on. Nursing in any chair with arms was no good - there wasn't enough room for me, my breasts, and the baby.

I'm still pissed I can't find a nursing bra. Motherfuckers.

So no, I don't miss nursing. I'll most likely nurse my next baby or babies, assuming I have any, although I doubt it will be for any longer than this round, and I doubt it will be exclusively. And you know what? THAT'S ALL FINE.

Things The Velociraptor Is Doing: Week 11

• Not only has zie discovered those things on the end of hir arms can grab things, they have discovered that they can use them to put things in their mouth. Things that have ended up in said mouth include blankets, burp cloths, my fingers, their fingers, toys, and everybody's clothes.


• Hands can also be used to touch things, so they have spent a lot of time investigating my arm and elbow during diaper changes. The first time this happened, it was so weird - here I am, changing a diaper, when all of a sudden I feel this little hand gently stroking my arm. I look over. and The Velociraptor is ENRAPTURED. And stroking my arm, over and over. They have also spent some quality time investigating our hands and faces.


• Speaking of diaper changes, we still have at least a dozen of those a day, and oh, does The Velociraptor LOVE peeing during them. LOVES IT. THINKS IT IS HILARIOUS. HAS LAUGHED WHILE DOING IT. Has also managed to not only get pee all over themselves, including caught in their belly button (it's like a little pee reservoir, and always gets filled), they also once managed to get pee IN THEIR EAR. And thought it was hilarious, naturally.


• Also apparently this one romper that I REALLY LIKE okay? The Kid has apparently decided they hate it, because the last two times zie's worn it, zie has pooped on it.


• Between that, the peeing all over, and the spitting up pretty regularly still, I am still doing a lot of laundry.


• Zie fucking LOVES watching me fold laundry. And touching laundry. And knocking piles of folded laundry over.


• Zie also LOVES "talking" to us. Right now it's vowel-sound babbling, but swear to Maude zie's trying (and nearly succeeding) to say "hi" to us. ("Hi" is a word that happens a LOT in our house.) Like it's REALLY close. The Man was also reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? to hir the other day, and says that when they got to Red Bird, a sound remarkably like "red" emerged from hir mouth.The Kid is definitely watching our mouths and trying to imitate us, and loves having conversations, and will definitely let us know when they want to "talk".


• Zie HATES baths in the bathtub so far. Sponge baths they'll tolerate, but oh, the hate for the bathtub.


• The Kid is also REMARKABLY INTERESTED IN OUR FOOD. Oh my gods, if we eat in front of hir, the glares we get. It's like we are taking the food out of hir mouth. We keep telling hir zie can have some with zie grows teeth, and that they'll get a taste of it via breastmilk, but this is not doing much to placate them.


• Zie still hates "tummy time". We usually do pretty good if it involves laying on me, but on the floor? NOAP. They pick their head up and move it fine if they're upright or on my shoulder, but getting it up off the ground leads to frustration... probably because it's not crawling. Seriously, the legs are moving like whoa during tummy time. I keep telling hir that zie has to pick up their head before they can crawl. It's not gotten through yet.


• Zie has also grown out of 0-3 months sized clothes. I put a 6 mos. sized sleeper on hir this week and it fit PRETTY DAMN WELL. So I culled all the 0-3 mos. stuff. Straight 3 mos. still fits, but probably not for much longer. This child is LONG, y'all.

DO NOT LET ME READ SLEEP SITES

[Contents: mommy/parent-shaming]

SERIOUSLY.

So the other day I tweeted this:

Note to self: no seriously you are banned from reading any baby sleep sites or books. BANNED. #zomgbaby
— Wench (@kingdomofwench) July 17, 2014

[Text: Note to self: no seriously you are banned from reading any baby sleep sites or books. BANNED. #zomgbaby]

BECAUSE I NEED TO NOT READ THEM ANY MORE. ALL THEY LEAD TO IS TEARS AND FRUSTRATION.

We got here because I am a reader. And a researcher. I cannot even tell you how many hours I spent reading baby books and websites while pregnant, and that hasn't really stopped now that The Velociraptor has made an appearance (and been around for TWO AND A HALF MONTHS WHAT). So I was reading baby sleep sites!

And they pretty much all say things like DON'T DO THIS YOU WILL RUIN YOUR CHILD FOREVERRRRRRR (not always in those exact words, but it surprises me how close many of them are) and YOUR BABY SHOULD BE DOING THIS and HERE ARE THE WORST MISTAKES YOU CAN MAKE.

Oh my fucking god! So stressful!

Also, none of them agree with each other. They do not even agree on the basics of how many hours per day babies should sleep at various ages, much less on how many naps babies should take, the best way to get babies to nap, etc. and so on.

But I kept reading them, because y'all, The Kid's naps are a MESS.

Here's the thing. I am not complaining. I'm frustrated, but I'm not complaining, because The Velociraptor has slept through the night since they were about two weeks old. And not that crappy "oh five hours is TOTALLY sleeping through the night" that sleep sites and books try to sell you. Nah dude. At least seven hours. Right now, we're averaging nine hours straight a night.

But daytime sleep, since about a month ago, has been a mess. Developmentally, this makes a lot of sense, because right about that time zie discovered that they could talk to us! And hit things! And move their legs! And there was a baby in the mirror! And they could grab things! And they could maybe roll over! So there were ALL SORTS OF SUPER NEAT THINGS TO SEE AND DO AND TRY at once so FUCK SLEEPING AMIRITE CHECK THIS OUUUUUTTTTTT

So then we'd get to the point where The Kid would be up for five hours at a time (note: ALL sites agree that is WAY too long awake for a baby The Kid's age), and then suddenly crash and be screaming. And then only sleep 26 minutes (I am not kidding, you can set a fucking watch by this child). And wake up cranky, RINSE AND REPEAT.

But even in the midst of that, The Kid would sleep through the night. GETTING them to sleep was a challenge, but once they were out, they were out.

So I would read sites about how to get your baby to nap regularly and not be up for five hours. And then when things wouldn't work and we'd have one of Those Days again I would be in TEARS because WHAT AM I DOING WRONG WHYYYYYYYY and feel horrible about nursing The Kid to sleep or sometimes just giving up when they were tired and not going to sleep and just letting them quietly play in their crib and did I mention TEARS.

This is no good.

Because here's the thing. I even asked The Kid's pediatrician about it. She said "Do the best you can. It's great zie's sleeping through the night, and I often find that great night sleepers are crappy day sleepers and vice versa. It'll probably settle down after three months, so in the mean time, do what you can."

And that's just it. The Kid sleeps through the night. They are ahead of the curve developmentally. Even when super fucking tired, they are not super fussy and impossible to calm down. Does it suck when they are up three, four, five hours and I'm like GO TO SLEEP JUST GO TO SLEEP? YES. YES IT DOES. Because it feels like I am beating my head against a brick wall and I can't stop. But, zie does eventually go to sleep (and increasingly, they seem to want LESS intervention to go to sleep). And while most people would tell you that the unpredictability of the nap schedule right now means going out is hellacious, honestly, it isn't for us. We took a road trip to Chicago last week, then road-tripped to Michigan from Chicago, and zie did AMAZINGLY FINE. So it's not like this is keeping me tied home or anything.

But oh, the SHOULD and MUST and BLAH BLAH BLAH of sites. Oh my gods.

I have decided that pretty universally, people are just making most of that shit up (not the part about babies needing a lot of sleep; that is pretty easy to tell just by observation. The rest of it, though, is highly suspect). So FUCK THEM. They don't know MY kid. (They really don't; none of them I've found even remotely address a 2-month-old who sleeps through the night but is a terrible napper; at this age they're all like HERE IS HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT... thanks player, lucked out on that one already). The Man and I know our kid. And so some days we have horrible no good nap days, and some are rock star days, and in the meantime, we make sure zie is clean and fed and we try to get them to sleep as regularly as possible.

AND THAT IS OKAY. 

Pooooooooop

[Contents: poop and ways of dealing with it; menstruation and related products]

Not my poop, although there is a whole lot we could talk about with being pregnant and what that does to one's digestive system. Baby poop.

So, babies poop. Kind of a lot. And pee. Kind of a lot. So you kind of need some way to deal with that business.

And oh my Maude, y'all, there are some STRONG. FUCKING. OPINIONS. out there about how to do that.

My opinion can be summed up as follows: look it holds bodily waste, so long as it does a good job containing that, whatever you choose is fine.

I do personally really like cloth diapers. Super cute! Supposed to be better for the environment! Soft and can cause fewer rashes! Did I mention cute! We are cloth diapering The Kid while at home (mostly - sometimes we use disposables, and we definitely use disposables while out of the house) and y'all, I really really do like cloth diapering The Kid. This post is mostly about why, what I like, and the concerns people have with cloth diapering.

There's a lot of bullshit that goes along with cloth diapers, including some of the OMG CHEMICALS ARE SO HORRIBLE WHY WOULD YOU LET ANY TOUCH YOUR BABY crowd (newsflash: everything, literally, on this earth is chemicals). Which, seriously, can we please stop trying to promote our positions by shaming the other position or position. (Unless the other position is something like "people don't need food" or p much anything else in the US Republican platform; then shame away.) So while I totally understand not wanting to do it because of that, there are a lot of nice things about cloth diapers, too.

One of the nicest things about cloth diapers is that if you are running out? It's a pretty easy fix - LOAD OF LAUNDRY. Admittedly, you can't just throw your diapers in with whatever other clothes need washing; they need to be a separate load. And it takes longer, because you have to pre-soak and then extra rinse and blah blah blah. And you can't throw all of them in the dryer. But hey! They ARE washable! If you have your own washer and dryer like us, you can be in your pjs! It can be midnight! Doesn't matter, you can have more diapers ready to go without having to get dressed, go to the store, deal with people, and come home.

For those who are now going OMG POOP IN YOUR WASHER, well, baby clothes and sheets and blankets frequently get poop, pee, spit-up, and drool all over them. And what do you do when that happens? You wash them. Same thing. Also, once the kid is eating solids and is pooping actual poop instead of the watery loose stool you get from formula or breastmilk, you shake the poop off in to the toilet and flush it. Our washer does not smell like poop, and we've been cloth diapering for like six weeks now. Our clothes do not smell like poop either (unless they have been freshly pooped on, which, for a while, The Kid liked to poop in that thirty seconds of not having a diaper on for a diaper change, and you would be amazed at how far a three-week old infant can launch poop. It is truly terrifying.).

The diapers also don't smell like poop or pee, they smell like clean cotton. One of the challenges of cloth diapering can be getting them clean. Depending on your water and washing machine, what detergent you use, what materials your diapers are made out of (we are only using cotton and waterproof PUL covers), this can be a challenge and require lots of trial and error. There's also about eight zillion recommendations online, making things even more confusing. I was lucky enough to hit on a good combination the first try, so that's what we do. Some people recommend special detergents; I have found that the all Free & Clear detergent we normally use works just fucking fine, thanks. It does take longer to wash and dry a load of diapers than normal laundry. It takes two wash cycles - a prewash, and then a super-long wash cycle with an extra rinse. They also take a longer dry cycle, because we have mostly flats but some prefolds, as well as some doublers, and since the prefolds and doublers are thicker, they take longer to dry.

But once the diapers are clean and dry, it takes maybe five minutes for me to fold and prep the entire load? Most of the time The Kid is laying on the bed next to me, watching in utter fascination. (Folding laundry is like a fucking AIR SHOW for infants.) Changing the diapers is no more complicated either. The covers are the same shape as disposables, and are applied the same way. They close with either hook-and-loop tabs or snaps. We do use cloth wipes with the cloth diapers, and that's easy too - there's a stack of clean wipes next to a bowl filled with water that has a touch of baby wash added to it. Dip the wipe, squeeze it out, apply to baby bottom. The wipes then get washed with the diapers. They're also super fucking absorbent, so like when The Velociraptor pees in the middle of a diaper change, hey, let's use a dry wipe to soak up the extra that landed on the changing pad, YEAH. And if it takes me a dozen wipes to clean up poop, WHO CARES, they just get washed.

Cloth diapers are bulkier than disposables. Some cloth is bulkier than others (this is why I have my favorite covers and usually use flats, but that's a subject for a whole other post). I have found that generally, I have not had to size up The Kid's clothes to account for this. If it fits them while wearing a disposable, it fits them while wearing cloth. Their butt looks bigger, but that's about it.

Also, we have not had any problems with leaks with the cloth diapers, even when The Kid went to sleep for the night way earlier than we expected and slept in a cloth diaper. We've had one poop leak in disposables, and one in cloth, so it's less the cloth and more OMG SO MUCH POOP. Because leaks happen, no matter what kind of diaper you use. The cloth diapers we are using - flats or prefolds in waterproof covers - work really, really well, y'all.

Finally, once we started cloth diapering The Kid, while the amount of laundry we did went up (and probably our gas bill, because we do use hot water), the amount of trash went WAY THE FUCK DOWN. Pre-baby, we generated one bag of trash per week. We are back to that now, from about 3 bags per week. This, I like, because I don't take out the trash, and trying to stuff yet another dirty diaper in the trash when it's already full is no fun. We also are not scrounging to find any sort of plastic bag to put dirty diapers in. It's way better for us.

Also did I mention cute? I mean, how can you argue with a cow-print diaper? Or dinosaurs? Or little birds? I mean seriously.

Things The Velociraptor is Doing: Week 7

The Kid will be eight weeks old on Friday. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN.

They have definitely started realizing that they can move their hands and feet. We've watched hir bat over and over at toys hanging from their play gym in the past week or so - like, it's clearly a deliberate, repeated movement. Same with the legs - we got this play gym, which has a toy piano at the foot that they can kick. And they do. Often. Repeatedly. Deliberately. We're going on vacation in a week or so, and I'm planning on adding a few small hanging toys to the packing list, to attach to the car seat for driving entertainment.

They have also discovered that cute baby in the mirror, and will gleefully talk and talk and talk and smile at them.

They will also talk and talk and talk at US. We have reached the "coos" stage, although that really doesn't describe the range of noises zie is making. There are all sorts of coos, squeals, grunts, groans, yelps, etc. that The Kid is making, in various patterns, pitches, and tones. We have "conversations", wherein The Kid will squeal, and I'll respond, and go back and forth for a few minutes. They also try to imitate us - I can usually get hir to "sing" 'ah-ah-ah' with descending pitch at me.

The Kid has also recognized our faces and voices.  This morning, when zie woke up, they were laying in their bassinet with their face away from me. I sat up in bed, said "Good morning" and zie quickly turned their head towards me, focused on my face, and gave me the BIGGEST grin. The turning the head to the voice in the morning is new, but for a week or two now, we have gotten facial recognition. We could pick hir up while they were fussing awake, and watch hir calm down, focus on us, and then grin. Soon after that, they started tracking movement - I could lay hir in the bassinet, then be walking around getting dressed or whatever, and zie would follow my movement.

The biggest grin upon recognition helps immensely when zie wakes up after only half an hour of napping. Or when we think we have hir down for the night, and zie wakes up forty-five minutes later. Even then, I can't complain, because zie's been sleeping 7-9 hours at night consistently for weeks now. Granted, that doesn't always start until really late (The Kid's bedtime is somewhere between midnight and 2 right now), but once they're asleep, they are ASLEEP. The other night they were napping and we went out to dinner with friends at a super-noisy restaurant, and they slept through the entire thing. As well as with moving from the car seat to bed when we got home. Today zie napped through construction next door.

Zie also has been picking up their head when up on our shoulder pretty much since birth, but now is getting better at doing it while laying on the floor. Today we got to about a 45-degree angle. When I'm reclined on the couch and zie's on my chest, zie can pick their head up and turn and look at me, which is awesome.

Finally, our current favorite song seems to be "The Fish of the Sea". What, you don't sing shantys that featured in Assassin's Creed: Black Flag to YOUR baby? Pffft.

SHIT HAPPENING TO MY NO-LONGER-PREGNANT ASS

[Content: tmi, medical]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I HAVE A BABY AND ZIE'S ALREADY A MONTH OLD AND WHAT THE FUUUUCCKKKKK

How has this month this month and a half and almost two months gone by so quickly? I am pretty sure I gave birth like, last weekend y'all, and somehow I have this gorgeous baby who quickly outgrew their newborn-sized clothes and who smiles and coos and giggles and grunts and farts and is just SO FREAKING ADORABLE ALL THE TIME and who smells so good and eats so well and is growing SO FAST.

Mostly this past month my time has been taken up sleeping, nursing The Kid (aka The Velociraptor), and for the first two weeks, mostly sitting on the couch exhausted, but for the last few weeks, doing laundry, reading books, doing the dishes, making bottles, folding clothes, cooking dinner, shit like that. Also feeding myself and peeing. So much peeing.

I've also been working on completely re-learning how to walk, for like the eight thousandth time in my life. My hips were SO loose and out of alignment by the time I gave birth. It was really bad. Giving birth actually pretty much immediately relieved the constant pain I was in - funny how not having OVER EIGHT POUNDS OF BABY sitting RIGHT ON A LOOSE FLOPPY JOINT eases that. But I'd gotten in to a lot of habits to compensate for that joint, which, now that it's not as floppy, it doesn't have all that extra pressure on it, and my actual hip joints are easing back in, are causing me pain. So I'm having to constantly remind myself that I need to stand up straight, and don't need to waddle any more, and can effectively use my abdominal muscles to stabilize my spine again, etc. and so on. It's a work in progress.

But, it is in progress. I don't parcel out my activity in terms of how many times I can do the stairs in a day anymore. I mean, I am doing so much laundry - since we're using cloth diapers at home - but going up and down the stairs three or four times a day is okay. I went out last weekend and ran errands and went to like five stores and I WAS OKAY. I've been cooking dinner nearly every night after the first two weeks - OMFG HAVE I MENTIONED I LIKE FOOD AGAIN. FOOD IS AMAZING. I WANT TO EAT IT. ALSO COOK IT. I HAD PORK CHOPS AND TORTILLA SOUP AND ALL SORTS OF THE THINGS MY PREGNANT ASS COULDN'T EAT AND THEY WERE DELICIOUS.

Also I can wear high heels again, which is fantastic. Flats don't make my back and feet hurt as much as they did pre-pregnancy, but they are definitely back to being way less comfortable. My feet have not changed size either, which is helpful.

I don't feel like my body has changed shape or size much either. Oh, let's be real, I have a whole bunch of brand new, angry purple stretch marks all over my belly. But... I'm back in my old clothes. Not that I ever wore "maternity" clothes anyway, or bought any bigger clothes for myself. But I'm back in the jeans and shirts that were a bit too small. My belly is still soft and floppy and jiggly, but it was BEFORE I got pregnant. My boobs are still definitely bigger, especially since I am breastfeeding at least most of the time, and I don't have a single bra that fits properly, but since most of my days I'm just at home with The Kid, fuck it, I just don't wear a bra.

The one thing that may have changed would be my bits, and honestly, it's not like I looked at them, uh, at all before I got pregnant, and I haven't looked at them since I gave birth. I do know that there were A LOT of stitches put in there, and there's a couple that seem to have not quite healed. But everything seems like it's more or less okay and where it belongs? I don't know. I get them checked out IN FULL in about a week, and The Man is definitely keeping count of how many days are left until I get cleared by my midwife. (I was informed by my mother that my father ALSO kept close track of how many days were left until OMG SEXYTIMES, which on the one hand, omg, not thinking about my parents having sex, and on the other, is hilarious).

I'm also in so much better health mentally. The last month of pregnancy was really fucking tough on me, and in ways that I'm still figuring out and didn't realize at the time. I am aware that I was cranky, angry, rude, had no patience, and was unpleasant to be around, and I'm sorry. I really am much better now though. Amazing what not being in pain does for one's mental health - which I also realize I don't need to explain to many people who read this blog or follow me on the twitter-machine. Yeah, I get tired, and for the first two weeks especially, I was a, weepy as hell, and b, super-frustrated that I couldn't be up and doing everything I wanted to yet.

The weepiness was hormonal - I would see my parents holding The Kid and be all like "That's my MOM" or "that's my DAD! HOLDING MY BABY!" and be so overwhelmed with joy and happiness and sadness that oh my god, they won't always be around and the baby is growing SO QUICKLY and a whole host of other emotions that they were too much to contain and they all leaked down my face. Or I'd be reading a book and something bad would happen to a baby or child and be all like "THAT IS SO TERRIBLE OH MY GOD I HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO MY CHILD I AM SO SAD", etc. and so on. It's eased up, a lot. I'm still feeling more of those kinds of emotions than I was, but they're not leaking down my face anymore, which, I am grateful for.

The frustration was definitely OKAY I DON'T FEEL LIKE CRAP ANYMORE I WANT TO DO LAUNDRY AND SHIT and it was really hard for me to have my mom doing it all for those first two weeks. Both my folks were over here pretty much every day the first week after The Kid was born, and my mom stayed with us another week. So she cooked, and did laundry, and spring cleaned the house, and I am immensely grateful for it... and struggled a lot with guilt and frustration around it. It was hard for me to realize that yeah, if I had REALLY needed to do all of those things that early on, I could have... but the first week especially, I really wasn't capable of it, and it was better for me to rest and build up strength, and it was PERFECTLY FINE for someone to help me and do them for me for a while.

And it really helped. Yeah, I was tired after she left... but I'd had two solid weeks where I could really rest and heal, and I think it made a huge difference.

So now my days are getting up with The Velociraptor, feeding The Velociraptor (always feeding... this child, y'all, swear to Maude zie has a hollow leg because I don't know where four hours of nursing and 20 oz. of formula goes SERIOUSLY), changing diapers, washing diapers, figuring out what to eat for dinner, thinking about leaving the house, sometimes ACTUALLY LEAVING THE HOUSE... and yeah, I'm pretty happy. Tired by late at night, but happy.

HOLY SHIT

UM

SO I HAVE A BABY NOW

ZIE IS SIX AND A HALF WEEKS OLD ALREADY

I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED

Also turns out that while the baby sleeps pretty regularly? Turns out that somehow I don't have much time to blog? Because I'm doing things like dishes, and laundry (this child generates 1-2 loads of laundry per day, HOW), and sneeping myself, and prepping bottles, and folding laundry, and addressing birth announcements, and going to doctor's appointments (for The Kid AND me), and making dinner, and feeding myself, and staring in to space...

It's pretty awesome.

Baby and I are both doing really well. Zie sleeps through the night and has since about two weeks old - and not just that crappy "oh five hours straight", this kid sleeps on average six and a half hours, and up to nine hours at night. Kid is also growing SO FAST. We've already had to move up the straps in the car seat and swing. They grew out of newborn-sized clothes a few weeks ago already too. At their last doctor's appointment they weighed 9 lb. 15 oz. and were 23 inches long already.

The Kid also smiles and coos and almost-giggles and tries to mimic us and is just an absolute joy. So yeah, pretty happy. Just busy :)