Things The Kid Is Doing: Month Five

WHAT THE FUCK THE KID IS FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS OLD HOW DID THAT HAPPEN

We are so close, SO CLOSE, to saying words. SO CLOSE. There are all kinds of consonants in the babbling right now, and something that sounds an awful lot like "MOM" comes out of hir mouth when they want to get my attention. I'm also pretty sure I heard an "okay" today. Even if there's not recognizable words, there's sentences and phrases coming out.

The Kid has also discovered their toes. They don't chew on them, but basically any time they can, they grab their toes.

As for other moving, we've mastered rolling over, both front-to-back and back-to-front. And we're not crawling, but somehow moving anyway. If I put hir down in hir crib while awake, I don't know what position they'll be in two minutes later. The other day I laid hir down on hir back in the crib, then laid myself down on the spare bed in the room. Two minutes later, they had rolled over, turned 90 degrees, and pulled down the crib bumper to glare at me. They are very, very good at moving around while on their belly, and I've seen the occasional forwards or backwards scoot. I can also lay hir down on hir play mat, and thirty seconds later, zie's done a 180 on their belly. It's impressive.

Mommy's Little Agent of Chaos has also figured out how to take the bar of hir play gym out of its sockets; how to detach the links attaching the toys to the bar; how to pull down the bar that we used to snap on to the crib rails and dangle toys from; how to throw things; how to palm a ball; how to drop things on the ground then look for them; how to get Mom and Dad to pick up what they dropped; how to unfold any laundry within their reach. One of my projects this weekend is to take one of the old boxes from wipes, decoupage some paper on it, and hem a bunch of fabric squares, so they have their own box with things they can take out ALL THE TIME. And then eventually learn to put back in.

We also started solids a few weeks ago. The Kid is VERY ADAMANT that they put the spoon in their mouth, so okay. Zie's not doing too badly with it, either! Zie also likes chewing on the spoon, and then doesn't want to let it go for more food, so we have frequent discussions on how if zie gives Mommy the spoon, Mommy will put more food on the spoon. So far our favorite food seems to be pureed green beans. Banana is okay too, and zie'll eat butternut squash soup and oatmeal. (Yes, I fed the baby some of the soup we had for dinner.) Avocado was no good though, apparently. We know for sure they're eating SOME of the food, although they do wind up wearing a good portion of it. That's okay. It's all good practice. The next food we plan on introducing is mango - yes, Gerber makes an organic mango puree first food, and I am excited about it.

Still no teeth yet, although chewing on everything remains a favorite pastime. Friday's new trick was putting something in hir mouth, then shaking hir head back and forth to rub hir gums on it. Also, if the something was, say, a bottle nipple, making a squeaking noise. I could live without the squeaking noise.

The Kid is still sleeping through the night just fine, but is in the process of moving from four to three naps a day. This means sometimes they really fight naps, especially the last one in the late afternoon, and so they're up forever and super cranky by bedtime. But we're also usually getting at least one nap a day that's an hour to two hours long, SOOOO. We're working on not having to nap on Mom all the time again, too.

Also The Kid is wearing 9-month-sized sleepers. WHAT. WHAT. NOT OKAY.

Zie is also working on sitting up. They can sit up on their own if they prop themselves up, and then often fall to the side. If Mom or Dad is holding their hips to stabilize, it works a bit better. Sitting up is awesome and zie wants to do it all the time. Zie also wants to sit at the table with us for dinner, even if they're not eating. So we have a giant-ass high chair in our small living/dining room, whatever. Zie also likes standing with some balance support - zie can support hir own weight on hir legs. The other night zie discovered zie can BOUNCE and this was THE MOST AMAZING DISCOVERY IT WAS GREAT. Zie GIGGLED LIKE WHOA.

Actually zie giggles a lot anyway. We can often get hir to laugh just by laughing at hir. Then zie'll scrunch up hir face and giggle at us. We giggle back. Zie giggles in response. This can go on for five minutes.

NO REGRETS SPENDING FIVE MINUTES GIGGLING WITH MY BABY, NOT EVER

Breastfeeding, Now That I've Done It

[Contents: TMI; parent-shaming; disordered eating]

I feel a little strange writing this up, since I'm no longer breastfeeding, but part of this blog is to share my experiences, especially as a fat lady with some chronic health issues, so that people who are similar boats have some reference material and don't feel as isolated and alone.

So. Breastfeeding.

Honestly going in to it, I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about breastfeeding. I was anticipating it was going to be super-weird. And, except for about thirty seconds when I thwapped out one of my boobs and started nursing in front of my father, it wasn't weird. It was just, "oh, I'm feeding my baby, okay."

I will also say that now that I've stopped, I don't miss nursing. And you know, nursing was pretty easy for me. I had to get a little creative with positioning sometimes - which I'll go in to more detail about later - but I never had sore or cracked nipples, I never had mastitis, a blocked duct, or thrush, The Kid never had latch problems, I never had painful engorgement, nothing. It worked pretty damn well all around.

The only issues were my supply - it's unclear whether I would have had enough to nurse exclusively. I go back and forth on that. Since I have thyroid issues, it is more likely that I did have some under-supply issues. Those issues, if they existed, were probably not helped by the fact that I really, really struggle to eat enough. It's easy to blame having a baby for the not eating, but that's a lie. I've struggled for years with making sure to feed myself adequately. I will say that having a baby exacerbated that. I could have really used someone who just constantly brought me food I could eat one-handed, especially in the first month or so where basically if the baby was awake, zie was nursing. And without eating enough, it's difficult to make enough breast milk.

But yeah, I don't miss it. I do miss being able to read or internets while nursing - I almost always had one hand free, and I have an iPod Touch with wifi, which is perfect for one-handed use. I do miss the early morning, 5 am wake-ups, and taking the baby in to bed with me and nursing while dozing. I miss nursing the baby to sleep. I miss nursing the baby to sleep on the couch and then shifting hir up to my shoulder so that we could both take a three-hour nap on the couch. I miss the baby unlatching hirself and giving me a milk-drunk, half-asleep grin with milk dribbling out of hir mouth.

I don't miss the last few months of nursing, whereupon The Kid was constantly clawing me and pinching my breasts, so that nursing turned in to a constant battle to prevent my personal pain. I don't miss The Kid's distracted nursing as they got older. I don't miss being stuck in a stationary position for however long nursing lasted. I don't miss the fact that I never found a nursing bra that fit, so nursing anywhere but at home was a royal pain in the ass. I don't miss the pain in my wrists from having to support whichever breast I was nursing from for however long nursing lasted, and it was regularly over an hour. I don't miss the discomfort from being stuck in whatever position I was in while nursing. I don't miss my tailbone constantly aching from sitting and nursing all the time.

One of the big things they tell you about breastfeeding is that it's SO CONVENIENT and IT'S FREE. Well, no. It's not free. It's certainly less expensive than formula feeding, but it's not free. It's a hell of a lot more time - and my time is not of zero value - and it's an increased cost in food and water for whoever is nursing. For lo, do you need to drink the hell of a lot of water when nursing.

And as for convenience, I'd say that breastfeeding and formula feeding are both convenient, just in different ways.

Ways breastfeeding is convenient:

• You really do never leave the house without the baby's food.
• You always have more food - you never run out.
• You can snooze while doing it.
• You don't have to do a load of dishes before you can feed the baby.
• You often have a free hand, so you can catch up on your reading or Twitter feed.
• No food goes to waste.

Ways formula feeding is convenient:

• You don't have to half-undress in order to feed the baby.
• It doesn't take an hour or more per feeding session.
• You don't have to try to eat or drink anything extra.
• Someone else can feed the baby while you eat some damn dinner finally.
• I can actually put the baby in the carrier and feed hir while we're moving.

They're also both inconvenient in some ways.

Ways breastfeeding is inconvenient:

• It's way harder, for me anyway, to find a comfortable position. The combination of large breasts (that I half-lovingly refer to as "cantaloupes in socks"... really soft cantaloupes) mean that unless I'm at home, where I can put my feet up and have a pillow in my lap, breastfeeding involves hunching over and lots of stress on my arms. Some people can nurse while their baby is in a carrier and they're moving! I am not one of them.
• It takes a long, long time to completely feed the baby, especially at first. Then once it shortens up, GROWTH SPURT, and we're back to constant nursing.
• Nursing strikes. You haven't lived until your baby has screamed at you every time you offer hir your breast.
• You're the only one who can feed your baby, unless you choose to pump, which is a whole other level of pain-in-the-ass-ness. (I did not pump.) Even if you do pump, any regular feeding time you aren't nursing, you have to pump, so you're still getting up in the middle of the night usually.
• You constantly need food, and especially water.
• The baby will always want to nurse when it's dinner time.
• You have to watch what you eat and drink. For example, if you drink something caffeinated, caffeine will be in your breast milk, and you might have a baby who is wired. Some babies with allergies and food intolerances are also sensitive to what their nursing parent eats - e.g., dairy.
• I didn't have them, but cracked nipples, clogged ducts, and thrush are real, painful things.
• Most doctors in the US will recommend that breastfed babies receive a Vitamin D supplement. So you have to buy that and remember to give it to the baby.
• Clapperclawing. Your baby will do it.

Ways formula feeding is inconvenient:

• Formula is expensive. And you will always have to toss some out, because once you mix up a bottle, the clock starts ticking.
• Bottles are expensive. The bottles that work best for us? Are $19.99 for three. We use at least six bottles a day right now. So a dozen bottles (so you've always got at least one clean... honestly, we have 17 now and I'm finally comfortable) is $80. Sure, there's coupons and sales, but jeebus. Let's not even talk about replacement nipples.
• You don't have a hand free.
• You can leave the house without the baby's food (and I've done it WHOOPS).
• You can't snooze while doing it - you have to stay awake.
• You have to make sure you buy enough formula you don't run out. The grocery store sells it, but it's often the most expensive option. So you have to either order it online, or make a special trip to Babies R Us or Target or wherever. It's also heavy as fuck.
• Unless you're using ready-to-feed (the most expensive form of formula out there), you have to make sure you have enough safe water to mix up the formula. I think about this, because it's hurricane season, and it's about to be winter storm season. We've never had a problem with our water here, but if we did, I need to make sure the baby doesn't starve.

I'm sure there are more things to add to all four of these lists (please feel free to share in comments!). But basically, it's a trade-off. As for other things that get used to shame people in to breastfeeding - and yeah, a lot of times it is trying to shame people in to breastfeeding - I have bonded with my baby just fine, thank you; my baby is healthy as fuck and has consistently been months ahead on hir milestones; my baby is at the 50% percentile for weight-for-age and even if they weren't, I don't consider obesity a health problem to prevent; breast cancer doesn't run in my family so I'm at low risk anyways; did I miss any?

As for positions, let me tell you, the ones you get the diagrams for, aren't made with fat ladies with large breasts in mind. Nor are nursing pillows. I used either a standard US bed pillow, or a Snoogle mini. I really loved nursing in the hospital, because I could angle the bed how I wanted it, then prop the baby up on a pillow next to me and use a modified football hold. The hospital is also the only place I successfully nursed in the side-lying position, because I could wedge a pillow between the baby and the bed rail. Otherwise, I would sit down, with my feet out in front of me, put a pillow on my lap, and prop the baby on the pillow. I'd support whatever breast I was nursing from with the hand on the same side, and latch the baby on. Nursing in any chair with arms was no good - there wasn't enough room for me, my breasts, and the baby.

I'm still pissed I can't find a nursing bra. Motherfuckers.

So no, I don't miss nursing. I'll most likely nurse my next baby or babies, assuming I have any, although I doubt it will be for any longer than this round, and I doubt it will be exclusively. And you know what? THAT'S ALL FINE.

THINGS I LIKE: Cloth Diapers Edition

When I was pregnant with The Velociraptor, The Man and I (really I, and The Man acceded) decided we would give cloth diapers a try. Cue my reading every possible blog post about cloth diapers out there, from what were the best brands, to how to wash, to different types, etc. and so on.

Now that I am cloth diapering full-time at home, HAHAHAH NOW I GET TO MAKE ONE OF THOSE POSTS YESSSSSSSSSS

I'm not going to go in to the basics of types of diapers, etc. and so on. What I'm going to detail is what we use, what we like/dislike about them, details about fit, and how we wash the whole mess of them. Because this is the sort of thing I found immensely helpful when making my decisions. I will also note, if you're thinking about trying cloth diapers, SO MANY PEOPLE give them away ALL THE TIME. Here is a fabulous weekly giveaway round-up. That includes cloth diapers, cloth diaper accessories, and other baby products. People can also add their own "family-friendly" giveaways to the link-up at the bottom. Some of my stash came from giveaways, so hey.

Anyway so what we use are prefolds and flats with waterproof diaper covers (to date, all of them are made of PUL). We fold up the diaper, lay it in a cover, and apply that to The Kid. It seriously is no more complicated than using a disposable diaper. We chose this for a couple reasons. One, it's probably the cheapest way to cloth diaper. Two, it's fucking easy to wash. Everything I've read suggests that all of the human-made fibers used in some of the fancier options get a stink in them after a few months that is nigh impossible to remove. Plus, you can use pretty much any detergent on 100% cotton... the human-made fibers usually require special "cloth diaper" detergents.

I will now go through brand by brand what covers, prefolds, and flats we have. Links will be to the manufacturer's or retailer's website. These are NOT referral links, and I have received no compensation for any of this post - this literally is just my opinions and experiences. The Kid was approximately 8 lbs. at birth, and is built long and lean (seriously, their hips, SO NARROW). Their thighs are not what I'd call particularly chunky, either, although they aren't particularly bony or lean, either.

Covers

• Flip one-size covers
  The manufacturer, Cotton Babies, call these a "hybrid diaper system" and sells their own branded inserts for them. I have none of the Flip inserts, but I do have Flip covers in just about every color made, and at least one of the special edition patterns, and we have them in both hook-and-loop and snap closures. These are probably my overall favorite cover and the first ones I reach for (there's a reason I have so many... seriously, like EVERY COLOR THEY HAVE MADE TO DATE except like, Armadillo). These are designed as a "one-size" cover, and when The Kid was a newborn weighing around 8 lbs., fit hir the second best. They continue to fit very well, and it's just now that I had to adjust the rise. They're trim, they hold up well and contain messes, and I have no preference for hook-and-loop or snaps. They're really nice and widely available. I just wish they came in more patterns.


• Thirsties Duo Wrap sized covers
  These are probably The Man's favorite, and I like them quite a bit too. Unlike Flips and most other covers, these are sized - so, there's a smaller size for smaller babies, and a larger size for larger babies and toddlers. We have four or five of these in size one, and honestly, when The Kid was a newborn, these fit the best. They are very trim. I prefer the hook and loop of these - it's good, solid hook-and-loop, and provides a little bit better fit in the waist. I love that they have double leg gussets, but wish they had flaps to tuck your inserts in like the Flips (not that this has seemed to make a difference in effectiveness, I note). I adjusted the rise on these before the Flips, but they weren't the first that needed adjusting. They're also not all the way unsnapped for the rise yet, although the way The Kid is growing, they probably will be next week. The fabric is nice, although like the Flips, I wish they came in more patterns -  I don't like the colored cover with white trim they have going on. Buuuuut I will probably buy some size twos in a few months.


• Econobums one-size covers
  I actually won a trial kit of these, containing one cover and three prefolds. I'm prepping the prefolds right now, although they are nice and soft right out of the box. As for the cover, it's been in use a few weeks, and The Man's description of it I think is spot on: "It is 'econo'." It's the same cut as Flips (they are from the same manufacturer), but there's only one row of snaps to fasten the waist (Flips have a double-row) and the PUL used is definitely thinner, and a little see-through, and it doesn't have the nice flaps to tuck your insert in to like the Flips do. That being said, it does the job alright. 


• Bumkins one-size covers
  One of these in the turtle pattern was actually the first cover I bought (zulily was having a sale on them... although I think you can find them cheaper than what I paid. Oh well). They fit really well, and I like that they have the double leg gussets and flaps to tuck your inserts in to. But when they say "all snap", they are NOT KIDDING. SO MANY SNAPS. SOOOO MANY SNAPS. Honestly, I don't bother fastening all of the waist snaps when I use these. Also, these are the only covers we have that have the rise snaps totally unsnapped, and we did that pretty early on. Of our one-size covers, these are probably the smallest. The fabric is nice, and is softer and stretchier than any of the other covers, and almost silky. However, that turtle one I bought? Had a total leg elastic failure on one side a month in. It was an easy fix for me (I sew), but disappointing.


• Diaper Safari one-size covers
  Yeah a bunch of the diaper websites have their own in-house covers. WHAT. LET'S GIVE MORE VARIETY. Anyway, these have apparently been redesigned since I bought mine, but the old ones are definitely the biggest covers we have. They are BIG for one-size, and even now, at 2.5 months, the leg gussets are still loose on the kid. The rise is still as small as we can make it. We usually stuff these with prefolds. They also have many snaps, but not as many as the Bumkins. The fabric is nice, thick, and slightly stretchy, and my god, you can NOT beat the price. Diaper Safari also frequently runs sales and has a rewards program. However, these are probably our least favorite right now, simply because they are STILL too big, and the kid weighs close to 12 lbs. I would recommend them for very chunky-thighed babies.


• Blueberry Coveralls one-size covers
  I first got one of these in hook-and-loop because IT WAS A COW-SPOT PATTERN I HAD TO HAVE IT OKAY. These are the second-biggest covers we have in our stash, and they are accurate when they say that their sizing starts at 10 lbs. At 8 lbs., they were too big. By one month, they fit nicely. We haven't adjusted the rise on these yet, although I probably will this week. I like that they have double-leg gussets, but I definitely prefer the snaps in these. I don't like how they do the "laundry tabs" for the hook-and-loop, and prefer the one we have with snaps.  Also, the inside of the cow cover is slightly discolored, and the hook-and-loop band on the front has warped a bit, so it curls. Still works just fine, though. 


• Nicki's Diapers one-sized covers
  I got one of these because OMG HOUNDSTOOTH. This the third-biggest cover we have. We still haven't adjusted the rise. I like it fine, but it's not my favorite. But again, an excellent economy option for covers. I don't like how the laundry tabs are done on this one, either, for the hook-and-loop. but that's a personal preference - they work just fine.


• Imagine one-sized covers
  I bought one of these because OMG DINOSAURS... and we kind of hate it. Honestly, it's not even in use right now, and I'll probably sell it. In our experience, it does not fit from 8 lbs. up, and it still didn't fit quite right at 10 lbs. It might be better now, but since we have plenty of other options... it languishes in the back of the drawer. I have this in hook-and-loop.

Inserts

• Gerber birdseye cotton flats
  I wound up getting a package of these at my baby shower. I did have cloth diapers on my registry, and even Gerber cloth diapers, but I had prefolds to use as burp cloths. ANYWAY, I got them, and dutifully prepped them, and I am glad I did. Flats are the cheapest insert options, generally, and these are proooobably the cheapest flats out there. I will say "you get what you pay for", but also say that using these converted me to flats. They are thin, soft cotton, almost see-through. They will warp in the wash. The edges are finished just with some serging, and they will fray. And I still use them. They absorb well, wash easily, and it only takes me a few minutes to fold them all up via a pad fold for stuffing in to covers. Especially when The Kid was a newborn, these fit fantastically, and are still going strong now at 2.5 months. Plus, these are probably the most widely available flats - I know Babies R Us by me carries them, and I believe Target does too. Most other flats and prefolds are not sold in stores, although Babies R Us I think does carry OsoCozy.


• Diaper Rite birdseye cotton flats
  So as I mentioned, I got converted to flats. So then I wanted to buy more, because especially at first, prefolds were just too bulky on The Velociraptor. I priced out a bunch of places, and these wound up the least expensive. Y'all, these are NICE. The fabric is a good thickness - thicker than quilting cotton, less thick than denim, definitely not see-through. The diapers are cut selvedge to selvedge, and the cut ends are finished with a rolled hem (for those that do not sew and have no idea what I just said, just know that they are made very, very nicely and that the edges will not fray). They have stayed square through washing. The size small are still good-sized; they are slightly bigger than the Gerber prefolds. The Kid has slept through the night with just one of these in their diaper and has woken up with zero leaks. Definitely recommended. Diaper Junction, the retailer of these, also has coupons and a rewards program.


• Diaper Rite cotton doublers
  I got some of these for free with a couple of orders, and while I wasn't planning on getting doublers, I could not pass up free. These are awesome, trim, 100% cotton inserts you can fold in to the middle of a prefold or flat to add some extra absorbency. I have them bleached and unbleached, and both washed up soft and fluffy, and work great. Now that The Kid is a little older and can sleep 11 hours overnight, we usually fold one of these in to a prefold for the night.


• Diaper Rite cotton prefolds
  Huh I did not realize that we had pretty much all Diaper Rite inserts. Huh. ANYWAY so since nobody bought me the prefolds I had on my baby registry, I priced out prefolds and read reviews and bought half a dozen of the size small, and half a dozen of the size medium, in white. These are very nice. They are a good heavyweight twill, nice and thick, and hold up to anything we've thrown at them though. I will say, however, that the size small was still too bulky on The Kid at 8 lbs., so I'd recommend them for closer to 10 lbs. and up. We also use the mediums as a soaker pad on the changing pad, because The Kid really loves to pee all over in the middle of diaper changes. SIGH. Anyway, I have some Gerber "premium" prefolds for use as burp cloths, and while I'm sure those would work as diapers, you can tell the difference (not even Gerber promotes them primarily for diapers, they are all like OH LOOK BURP CLOTHS, CLEANING RAGS, YEAH). The Diaper Rites are thicker in the middle, thicker in the wings, quilt up nicer, and are softer. (But seriously, get you some cloth diapers for burp cloths.) These are bulkier than the flats when in use, but not OH GOD SO BULKY. Even with these, I have not had to size up any of The Kid's clothes to account for the diaper.

Washing

Y'all there are SO MANY WASHING INSTRUCTIONS FOR CLOTH DIAPERS OUT THERE I CAN'T EVEN.  It depends on what kind of washer you have, what diapers you have, what kind of water you have, etc. and so on. I will say that I found the instructions on washing from Green Mountain Diapers helpful, both on the website and in their booklet - although they can kind of ramble and repeat themselves.

Since we have all cotton with PUL covers, our wash routine is pretty simple. We throw the soiled diapers (and cloth wipes) in to a wet bag we have hanging off the changing table. (Some people say that you can wipe out a PUL insert if the baby has just peed and reuse it... we don't do this, because it kind of squicks us out.) We do not bother trying to get the inserts out of the covers; they come out just fine in the wash. When the wet bag gets pretty full, we take it to the washer and do the following:

• Run a prewash cycle on warm
• Run a "super-wash" long cycle on hot, with an extra rinse
• Dry the cotton in the dryer on medium for the max cycle length
• Hang the covers and wet bag to dry

We have a top-loading, non-HE washer. It has an automatic water level sensor, so in order to get enough water in the load, we not only put it on "bulky items" (which means it adds extra water), we override the water level sensor. We never fill it more than halfway with cloth diapers, since one consistent thing is that you need a lot of water for each diaper, and this way there's plenty. I definitely recommend reading your fucking washer manual to see all of the neat features you may like or need to counteract on yours.

As for detergent, since we are using cotton, we just use All free and clear, like we do for our regular clothes. We have had zero issues getting diapers clean with it, and have run in to zero issues with absorbency.  For each load, we use about half the amount recommended on the bottle for a "medium" load. We also live in a city with what is widely considered some of the best municipal water in the country - we do not have hard water. Oh, and definitely do NOT use fabric softener of any kind with cloth diapers, even dryer sheets.

For drying, we do have some wool dryer balls that I like to throw in with the cotton, to make sure it's fluffed up, but we did plenty of loads without them and it worked fine. The cycle length is long just to make sure the prefolds get dry - flats and wipes dry really fucking quickly. We hang the covers to dry to help the PUL last as long as possible. I have a drying rack similar to this one set up in the laundry area. I hang the covers and bags up and they dry pretty quickly.

We do a load of diapers every 24-36 hours. We've got... maybe 20 or so covers and flats, and when your baby can go through 14 diaper changes in a day some days, you need to. Plus, this cuts down on stink. The only time I have had a stink problem was right before vacation. I held off on doing a load of diapers because I wanted to get the last few from the next morning in. Fine, except that I left the loaded wet bag hanging in our laundry area, which is in our attic, so they basically roasted. I washed them with our regular routine, and they still smelled. So I went through the routine again, except I  added 1/4 C of bleach to the "super-wash" cycle, and that did the trick. Some manufacturers say to not use bleach; Cotton Babies recommends using a small amount of bleach once a month. A small amount of bleach once in a while is not going to ruin cotton or PUL, and sometimes you just need it.

Right now, we also don't rinse the poop out of the diapers. The Kid is partially breastfed, so the poop is pretty liquid. Sometimes if they have more formula, it's a little thicker, but even then, we don't bother rinsing it. We have found that with our diapers and wash routine, the poop comes right out. We haven't had any problems with staining, either. And no, neither the diapers nor the washer smell of poop. The diapers smell like either nothing, or grass - unbleached cotton has its own grassy smell, which I am amazed that it still hangs on to after so many washes.

Finally, in order to use cotton diapers, you have to prep them. Basically, you are stripping all of the natural oils from the cotton to make them as absorbent as possible. I prep mine by washing them five times on hot with detergent, drying in between.

And that's it. I am happy to answer questions in comments or via the Twittermachine.

DO NOT LET ME READ SLEEP SITES

[Contents: mommy/parent-shaming]

SERIOUSLY.

So the other day I tweeted this:

Note to self: no seriously you are banned from reading any baby sleep sites or books. BANNED. #zomgbaby
— Wench (@kingdomofwench) July 17, 2014

[Text: Note to self: no seriously you are banned from reading any baby sleep sites or books. BANNED. #zomgbaby]

BECAUSE I NEED TO NOT READ THEM ANY MORE. ALL THEY LEAD TO IS TEARS AND FRUSTRATION.

We got here because I am a reader. And a researcher. I cannot even tell you how many hours I spent reading baby books and websites while pregnant, and that hasn't really stopped now that The Velociraptor has made an appearance (and been around for TWO AND A HALF MONTHS WHAT). So I was reading baby sleep sites!

And they pretty much all say things like DON'T DO THIS YOU WILL RUIN YOUR CHILD FOREVERRRRRRR (not always in those exact words, but it surprises me how close many of them are) and YOUR BABY SHOULD BE DOING THIS and HERE ARE THE WORST MISTAKES YOU CAN MAKE.

Oh my fucking god! So stressful!

Also, none of them agree with each other. They do not even agree on the basics of how many hours per day babies should sleep at various ages, much less on how many naps babies should take, the best way to get babies to nap, etc. and so on.

But I kept reading them, because y'all, The Kid's naps are a MESS.

Here's the thing. I am not complaining. I'm frustrated, but I'm not complaining, because The Velociraptor has slept through the night since they were about two weeks old. And not that crappy "oh five hours is TOTALLY sleeping through the night" that sleep sites and books try to sell you. Nah dude. At least seven hours. Right now, we're averaging nine hours straight a night.

But daytime sleep, since about a month ago, has been a mess. Developmentally, this makes a lot of sense, because right about that time zie discovered that they could talk to us! And hit things! And move their legs! And there was a baby in the mirror! And they could grab things! And they could maybe roll over! So there were ALL SORTS OF SUPER NEAT THINGS TO SEE AND DO AND TRY at once so FUCK SLEEPING AMIRITE CHECK THIS OUUUUUTTTTTT

So then we'd get to the point where The Kid would be up for five hours at a time (note: ALL sites agree that is WAY too long awake for a baby The Kid's age), and then suddenly crash and be screaming. And then only sleep 26 minutes (I am not kidding, you can set a fucking watch by this child). And wake up cranky, RINSE AND REPEAT.

But even in the midst of that, The Kid would sleep through the night. GETTING them to sleep was a challenge, but once they were out, they were out.

So I would read sites about how to get your baby to nap regularly and not be up for five hours. And then when things wouldn't work and we'd have one of Those Days again I would be in TEARS because WHAT AM I DOING WRONG WHYYYYYYYY and feel horrible about nursing The Kid to sleep or sometimes just giving up when they were tired and not going to sleep and just letting them quietly play in their crib and did I mention TEARS.

This is no good.

Because here's the thing. I even asked The Kid's pediatrician about it. She said "Do the best you can. It's great zie's sleeping through the night, and I often find that great night sleepers are crappy day sleepers and vice versa. It'll probably settle down after three months, so in the mean time, do what you can."

And that's just it. The Kid sleeps through the night. They are ahead of the curve developmentally. Even when super fucking tired, they are not super fussy and impossible to calm down. Does it suck when they are up three, four, five hours and I'm like GO TO SLEEP JUST GO TO SLEEP? YES. YES IT DOES. Because it feels like I am beating my head against a brick wall and I can't stop. But, zie does eventually go to sleep (and increasingly, they seem to want LESS intervention to go to sleep). And while most people would tell you that the unpredictability of the nap schedule right now means going out is hellacious, honestly, it isn't for us. We took a road trip to Chicago last week, then road-tripped to Michigan from Chicago, and zie did AMAZINGLY FINE. So it's not like this is keeping me tied home or anything.

But oh, the SHOULD and MUST and BLAH BLAH BLAH of sites. Oh my gods.

I have decided that pretty universally, people are just making most of that shit up (not the part about babies needing a lot of sleep; that is pretty easy to tell just by observation. The rest of it, though, is highly suspect). So FUCK THEM. They don't know MY kid. (They really don't; none of them I've found even remotely address a 2-month-old who sleeps through the night but is a terrible napper; at this age they're all like HERE IS HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT... thanks player, lucked out on that one already). The Man and I know our kid. And so some days we have horrible no good nap days, and some are rock star days, and in the meantime, we make sure zie is clean and fed and we try to get them to sleep as regularly as possible.

AND THAT IS OKAY. 

Things The Velociraptor is Doing: Week 7

The Kid will be eight weeks old on Friday. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN.

They have definitely started realizing that they can move their hands and feet. We've watched hir bat over and over at toys hanging from their play gym in the past week or so - like, it's clearly a deliberate, repeated movement. Same with the legs - we got this play gym, which has a toy piano at the foot that they can kick. And they do. Often. Repeatedly. Deliberately. We're going on vacation in a week or so, and I'm planning on adding a few small hanging toys to the packing list, to attach to the car seat for driving entertainment.

They have also discovered that cute baby in the mirror, and will gleefully talk and talk and talk and smile at them.

They will also talk and talk and talk at US. We have reached the "coos" stage, although that really doesn't describe the range of noises zie is making. There are all sorts of coos, squeals, grunts, groans, yelps, etc. that The Kid is making, in various patterns, pitches, and tones. We have "conversations", wherein The Kid will squeal, and I'll respond, and go back and forth for a few minutes. They also try to imitate us - I can usually get hir to "sing" 'ah-ah-ah' with descending pitch at me.

The Kid has also recognized our faces and voices.  This morning, when zie woke up, they were laying in their bassinet with their face away from me. I sat up in bed, said "Good morning" and zie quickly turned their head towards me, focused on my face, and gave me the BIGGEST grin. The turning the head to the voice in the morning is new, but for a week or two now, we have gotten facial recognition. We could pick hir up while they were fussing awake, and watch hir calm down, focus on us, and then grin. Soon after that, they started tracking movement - I could lay hir in the bassinet, then be walking around getting dressed or whatever, and zie would follow my movement.

The biggest grin upon recognition helps immensely when zie wakes up after only half an hour of napping. Or when we think we have hir down for the night, and zie wakes up forty-five minutes later. Even then, I can't complain, because zie's been sleeping 7-9 hours at night consistently for weeks now. Granted, that doesn't always start until really late (The Kid's bedtime is somewhere between midnight and 2 right now), but once they're asleep, they are ASLEEP. The other night they were napping and we went out to dinner with friends at a super-noisy restaurant, and they slept through the entire thing. As well as with moving from the car seat to bed when we got home. Today zie napped through construction next door.

Zie also has been picking up their head when up on our shoulder pretty much since birth, but now is getting better at doing it while laying on the floor. Today we got to about a 45-degree angle. When I'm reclined on the couch and zie's on my chest, zie can pick their head up and turn and look at me, which is awesome.

Finally, our current favorite song seems to be "The Fish of the Sea". What, you don't sing shantys that featured in Assassin's Creed: Black Flag to YOUR baby? Pffft.